Back to solo travel. It’s ambivalent, no doubt about it. Bali has given me a strong social circle of both international and Indonesian friends. It feels strange to leave them. It feels different. When I left Denmark, I said goodbye to a lot of good friends too. But Denmark is my home, and no matter where in the world I go, I’m sure I’ll come home again. To the friends and to the family.

Bali isn’t my home. I’m not interested in making it my home either. But I’ve come away from there with a feeling that I’ll have to come back soon. I’ve been living on/off at the same hostel for a month. That’s given me a completely different relationship to the area, the staff, and the guests. Because the hostel has felt homey, I’ve also treated it like a home. Greeting and chatting with the staff. Cleaning up after myself instead of waiting and/or expecting someone else to come and do it for me. Being active around the social activities and helping new guests feel welcome. That way I’ve also met a lot more people than I otherwise would have, and had some completely different experiences than at the other places I’ve stayed.

As a result I’ve had an ultra social month, where practically every day has been about spending time with others. Even though the group of friends has been a big gift, it has also stirred up a lot of unrest in me. It takes a lot of energy for me to maneuver around in a fairly emotionally charged environment. New people join the group and have to be gotten to know. Couples form and split up. People move on.

The group of friends is a bit special, precisely because of the many travelers involved. So instead of a small tight-knit group of old friends, it’s a very open and broad group, with people joining and moving on continuously. People want to get the best out of the time they have together. Every evening is a potential night out. Whether it turns into a long or short night out is impossible to guess. So even though I’ve only known them for a short time, it’s been fairly easy to grow close to them.

It’s been many years since I’ve spent energy navigating this kind of social scene. Mixed in with my own feelings about groups of friends, community, and intimacy, I’ve learned a lot about myself, about what I want from my relationships with others, where my boundaries lie, and where I’d like to do more. What do I get from these close friendships, and should I strive for more of them? When I travel and meet people, how can I better find my footing within the community?

I’ll be practicing my social register over the coming stretch, as I once again travel off solo. I’m leaving Bali headed for Java and Sumatra. My visa expires on July 18th, and for the remaining days I’ll be in the northern part of Sumatra, with a short stop in the middle of Java in the Yogyakarta area.

Before I left, I had a debrief with Eline. It’s been a strange month for both of us. I’ve had a hard time settling in and figuring out how to spend my time. She’s been hit by illness, work pressure, supporting girlfriends, and a handful of suitors. We both agree that we’re looking forward to traveling together, but that it also has to wait until Eline is done, or nearly done, with her remote work. My plan is that by then I’ll have figured out a way to extend my travel budget.

I used to walk around worried about my travel budget. Something I’ve feared is running out of money to travel on before I’d seen what I wanted to see and had time to think things through. But from Bali I’m taking a different mindset with me. Now it’s no longer a fear, but a goal. I want a solution. A solution that gives me the ability to choose. Traveling around isn’t crazy expensive the way I do it. For 200,000-300,000 kroner a year I can go far and experience a lot. Since I left Denmark in mid-February, I’ve spent 90,000 kroner.

I haven’t decided what I actually want to do. Whether I want to travel around and only come back to Denmark 2-3 times a year. Or a 50/50 arrangement between Denmark and abroad. Maybe set up a business somewhere in the world that I can return to. Maybe just join the digital nomad club and work remotely. I am, however, more certain than when I started my trip, that I’m going to be out here in the wide world for longer than just 10 months.

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